Jay came into this world in Roanoke Va. on a cold day in December 1960. He and John-John Kennedy, Jacqueline and president Kennedy's son, had the same due date but John was born a month early and Jay, already showing his strong will, chose not to arrive until December 23. Jay was a big boy and grew into the cutest child with fair skin and blond hair and the biggest smile you have ever seen.
Jay was the first grandchild in my family and always had a special place with Gree-Maw (Gree) and Peep-Paw (Peep) as Jay would name them. He would spend many days as a child with them and they had lots of fun together.
In the early 60's as our extended family was not so large we would celebrate the Christmas season together, usually the 23rd, so Jay thought this was his great big birthday party. Hum, one advantage to being a December baby.
Jay's sister Lisa was born in 1962 and they had lots of fun together, including several trips to the emergency room, but this never stifled their spirit for adventure. Once Jay climbed a 30' tree only to lose his balance and falling, hitting limbs as he fell. No broken bones, only a swollen face The bicycle accident also sent them to the emergency room— nothing serious. Dirt bikes were great fun. One broken finger was all Jay ever got and if he were here now, he would tell you I waited two days to take him to the doctor. (I didn't know it was broken) Mean mom!
As Jay grew older his need for thrills intensified. Roller skating/speed skating, scuba diving. btw: in clearing out his apartment I found his first pair of skates and scuba equipment.
Middle school found Jay interested in Junior Achievement of Forsyth County
and he was pleased to be selected to represent this branch for the National
JA in Indiana. He came home with an award.
Jay had quite an ability to assemble/dis-assemble anything mechanical. One
motorcycle, his first Volkswagen Beetle (I wish we still had it, it was so cute). He could repair practically everything.
Around eighteen Jay took flying lessons and later skydiving was his "thing." I remember when I expressed concern over his hobbies his comment was." I have to do all these things before I get old and afraid like you."
In 1991 Jay and I lost Lisa in a tragic accident at the age of 28. I sometimes wonder if he ever was able to completely deal with her death. He never talked to me about it. I hope he found peace.
Jay attended UNCC one year after high school but decided enough school for right now. He had several jobs, traveled through out Europe where he made many friends, just to find his niche, and then was introduced to the computer world. This was that niche he had looked for and probably he was most proud of his Bachelor of Science degree from The University of North Carolina at Greensboro which he received in 1995.
Jay's love of cooking was know by all his friends and a trip to the grocery store was important. Fresh fruits,veggies and cooking from scratch— that was Jay.
The years after college I expect he had some exciting times, a real "blast." Mom doesn't know so friends will need to share these times.
I have been asked how he ended up in California. His work took him through out the country and many times to this state he loved so much. In time I think this is where he wanted to live so he moved, sold his house in NC and became a resident of southern Cal. To our horror he was diagnosed with terminal cancer soon after moving.
I spent three or four weeks with Jay about every four months during his nearly three year battle with cancer. I could talk about our conversations, fears, my tears and his frustrations but I will tell you how brave Jay was to the very end. He so wanted to live and hung on trying to do as much for himself as possible. I will always remember his comment when asked how he was feeling. "Oh, I'm still plugging along."
The beginning of his illness he enjoyed walking to the Santa Monica pier and watching the sunset. We neither had to say anything but a bond had formed and we just watched the sun as it set over Malibu. This is what I remember and someday we will meet again in the sunset of California. I love and miss you son. Forever and ever. Remember I said, " You will always be in my heart," as you started your next journey. Be waiting for me son.
Love,
mom
