Jay Crews - Site Memorial Online

I often think about those phone calls from Jay

Jay:  what up dude.. ready for some quality drinking?

Me:  you mean quantity drinking? mind your English man.. there is a difference between quantity and quality

Jay:  laugh...  (I still have echo of his laugh in my ears)

Jay:  come on dude lets hit the bar

Me:  I am coming over; do you have food?

Jay:  I am thirsty man...

His memories are so vivid; I feel like those things just happened.  

As the New Year 2008 arrived, I was spending the time on Jay's memorial site as I did in 2007, remembering good times I spent with Jay.  I very much enjoy reading messages from his friends and looking at his pictures - very comforting.  I had lit a candle and within a few moments my computer froze and up pops the "cannot be displayed page."   Now I suppose all Jay's computer friends will have a technical explanation for this, however I feel Jay is still around and plays games with me.

I thought this would be interesting to all who knew Jay so well.  What say folks - could this be Jays way of saying he is still with us. 

"James Crews" <jpc@rupret.doublelatte.com> 

You'll have to be a programmer (geek) to appreciate these,
but here ya go.

Later

--Jay Crews

>  YESTERDAY
> Yesterday,
> All those backups seemed a waste of  pay.
> Now my database has gone away.
> Oh I believe in  yesterday.
> Suddenly,
> There's not half the files there used to  be,
> And there's a milestone hanging over me
> The system crashed so suddenly.
> I pushed something wrong
> What it was I could not  say.
> Now all my data's gone
> and I long for  yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
>
> Yesterday,
> The need for back-ups  seemed so far away.
> I knew my data was all here to stay,
> Now I  believe in yesterday.
>
>
> LET IT BE
> When I find my  code in tons of trouble,
> Friends and colleagues come to me,
>  speaking words of wisdom:
> Write in C.
>
> As the deadline  fast approaches,
> And bugs are all that I can see,
> Somewhere,  someone whispers:
> Write in C.
> Write in C, Write in C,
>  Write in C, oh, Write in C.
> LOGO's dead and buried,
> Write in  C.
>
> I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
> For science it  worked flawlessly.
> Try using it for graphics!
> Write in  C.
>
> If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
> Debugging some  assembly,
> Soon you will be glad to
> Write in C.
>
>  Write in C, Write in C,
> Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
> BASIC's  not the answer.
> Write in C.
>
> Write in C, Write in
> Write in C, oh, Write in C.
> Pascal won't quite cut it.
>  Write in C.
>
>
> IMAGINE
> Imagine there's no  Windows,
> It's easy if you try.
> No fatal errors or new  bugs
> To kill your hard drives.
>
> Imagine Mr. Bill  Gates
> Leaving us in peace!
>
> Imagine never-ending hard  disks,
> It isn't hard to do.
> Nothing to del or wipe off
>  And no floppy too
>
> Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
> Sharing all his  money.
>
> You may say I'm a hacker,
> But I'm not the only  one.
> I hope someday you'll join us
> And your games will fit in  RAM
>
> Imagine 1-Giga RAM
> I wonder if you can.
> No  need for left-shifts or setups
> And no booting again and  again.
>
> Imagine all the systems
> Working all  life-time!
>
> You may say I'm a hacker,
> But I'm not the  only one.
> Maybe someday I'll be a cracker
> And then I'll make  Windows run

This is one of my favorite pictures of Jay. It was taken in Texas one time when he came to visit me after I moved away. He didn't tell me he was comimg... he just showed up! 900 miles in that crazy bug with no passenger seat! [laugh] But I was so glad to see him!

Before I moved back to Texas, I stayed with Jay in Winston-Salem for a few weeks and watched (and waited) for him to re-build that Bug! When he started it, it was in boxes and apparently had been there for years... long story there! [laugh]

We were staying at his grandparents house and every day his grandmother would say, "I don't know why he's trying to put that old thing together... it's in pieces... it will never run." But I would just smile... I KNEW Jay— and I knew that when he put his mind to something, nothing would stop him. I knew that he would not only put it back together, but it would run! And run it did.... all the way to Texas! There's a picture of the Bug in the picture gallery that was taken in Asheville at my Grandmother's house a short time after he put it back together.... another surprise visit from Jay.... apparently, he didn't know how to use a phone :)

The more time that passes, the more I realize how much our friendship meant to me... but occasionally, I still get surprise visits in my dreams! I miss you Jay!

As the summer solstice has come and gone without an email from Jay, I thought I'd mention the movie Beerfest. I don't believe this came out until later 2006. He would've been so much fun to hang out with while this movie was playing. We'll have one for ya Jay. Cheers.
Beer Quotes

James Crews" <jpc@rbdc.rbdc.com>
Subject:    Fw: BEER
Date:    Sun, 21 Nov 1999 18:32:04 -0500


  You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline.
It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear
weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
        -Frank Zappa

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to
keep your mouth shut.          - Ernest Hemmingway

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has
taken out of me.          - Winston Churchill

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
        - Benjamin Franklin

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
        - Henny Youngman

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
her.          - W.C. Fields

He was a wise man who invented beer.
        - Plato

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
        -David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking class.   -Oscar Wilde

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it
makes beer shoot out your nose.          - Jack Handy,Deep Thoughts

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.          -
Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
        - Humphrey Bogart

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just
like to pee a lot        - Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
        - Kaiser Wilhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
        - Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital
ingredient in beer.          - Dave Barry

I drink to make other people interesting.
        - George Jean Nathan

They who drink beer will think beer.
        - Washington Irving

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
his fools.         
- For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
        - Dean Martin

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's
 just
do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
        - Homer Simpson

Ok, time for another installment of funny jokes Jay sent me...

Wed, 17 Mar 1999 15:43:20 -0500

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IRAQI TV GUIDE

MONDAY
8:00    Husseinfeld
8:30    Mad About Everything
9:00    Suddenly Sanctions
9:30    Allah McBeal

TUESDAY
8:00    Wheel of Fortune and Terror
8:30    The Price is Right if Saddam Says its Right
9:00    Children are Forbidden to Say The Darndest Things
9:30    Iraq's Funniest Public Execution Bloopers

WEDNESDAY
8:00    Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
8:30    Diagnosis: Heresy
9:00    Just Shoot Me
9:30    Veilwatch

THURSDAY
8:00    Mahatma Loves Chachi
8:30    M*U*S*T*A*S*H
9:00    Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses
9:30    My Two Baghdads

FRIDAY
8:00    Judge Saddam
8:30    Captured Iranian Soldiers Say The Darndest Things
9:00    Achmed's Creek
9:30    No-witness News

- Jay Crews

==========================================================================
|  -Internet Email- |   The SABRE Group (my pimp)  |   That's very       
|
| jpcrews@acm.org   |    Applications Programmer   |   funny Scotty.     
| 
| jpcrews@uncg.edu  |------------------------------|   Now beam down     
|
| jpc@beer.com      | http://www.uncg.edu/~jpcrews |   my clothes!

Fri, 7 May 1999 16:33:10 -0400

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Beer Troubleshooting:  
  
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.  
  
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.  
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog & complain about house training.  
  
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless; doesn't quench thirst.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy another beer.  
  
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen backwards.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to the bar.  
  
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.  
  
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom; practice in mirror.  
  
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy another beer.  
  
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.  
  
SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender; take taxi home.  
  
SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up at you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.  
  
SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal clear.
FAULT: It's water.  Someone is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.
  
SYMPTOM: Hand hurts; nose hurts; mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see just in case it was them.  
  
SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone or the room you are in.
FAULT: You have wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.  
  
SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is wearing off.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

Cheers

Thu, 23 Sep 1999 10:20:38 -0400 (&)

SAM:  "What's shaking Norm?"
NORM: "All four cheeks & a couple of chins."

SAM:  "What's new Normie?"
NORM: "Terrorists, Sam.  They've taken over my stomach & they're
       demanding beer."

SAM:  "What'd you like Normie?"
NORM: "A reason to live.  Give me another beer."

SAM:  "What'll you have Normie?"
NORM: "Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy.  I'll take a glass of
       whatever comes out of that tap."
SAM:  "Looks like beer, Norm."
NORM: "Call me Mister Lucky."

SAM:  "Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
NORM: "Like a baby treats a diaper."

WOODY: "What's the story Mr. Peterson?"
NORM: "The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery.  Let's cut to the
       happy ending."

WOODY: "Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
NORM: "I know, if she calls, I'm not here."

SAM:  "Beer, Norm?"
NORM: "Have I gotten that predictable?  Good."

SAM:  "Whatcha up to Norm?"
NORM: "My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."

WOODY: "How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
NORM: "Poor."
WOODY: "I'm sorry to hear that."
NORM: "No, I mean pour."

SAM:  "How's life treating you Norm?"
NORM: "Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."

SAM:  "What's going down, Normie?"
NORM: "My butt cheeks on that bar stool."

WOODY: "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
NORM: "Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty."

WOODY: "How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
NORM: "It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing Milk Bone 
underwear."

SAM:  "What's the story Norm?"
NORM: "Boy meets beer.  Boy drinks beer.  Boy meets another beer."


WOODY: "What's going on Mr. Peterson?"
NORM: "The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson?  A beer please, 
Woody."

WOODY: "Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?"
NORM: "A little early isn't it, Woody?"
WOODY: "For a beer?"
NORM: "No, for stupid questions."

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm

Funny link, I think Jay enjoyed this one tremendously.

Oh yeah, my brother and I have Jay's old motorcycle seen in some pics. We're going to restore it soon.

Ok, my wife found...

I just found this video on the internet, and it seemed an awful lot like jay in the middle. Certainly his sense of humor: http://youtube.com/watch?v=HCkYfYa8ePI

Some 2002 Christmas emails from Jay...enjoy

Aaaaahhhhhhhhhh........reminders of the south.....
http://www.toonedin.com/movies/WhiteTrashXmas.html
If you are still using technology from the last millennium,
(ie telephone dial-up lines to connect to the internet), catch
up with the rest of us, or DEFINITELY give up on this one!
Later
-- Jay Crews
jpc@jaycrews.com
And where would we be without a Unix X-mas!!!!!

(If this DOESN'T make sense, you're normal.  *laugh*)
-- Jay Crews
jpc@jaycrews.com

A unix Christmas carol:
0 better [ !pout -a !cry ]
0 better [ !shout ]
cat /etc/why
santa_claus < north_pole > town
cat /etc/passwd | awk 'BEGIN {FS=":"} {print $1}' > list
/usr/bin/check list
/usr/bin/check list
cat list | sgrep naughty > /dev/coal
cat list | sgrep nice > /dev/presents
santa_claus < north_pole > town
who | sgrep sleeping
who | sgrep awake
who | sgrep bad
who | sgrep good
for goodness sake; do
    be good
done
better [ !pout -a !cry ]
better [ !shout ]
cat /etc/why
santa_claus < north_pole > town

Early '90s... Jay and I would share a beer at Spring Garden pondering how to break into Dr. Grandon's email account and the fun we could have... Jay was one of those old souls who always had some dry, hillarious comment that could brighten even your darkest days. I managed to get to one of Jay's crazy parties at his house in Winston-Salem, when I was at UNCG. Ya know, there's just no other sight than Jay with no shirt stumbling around! I have some pictures somewhere of that night! LOL Jay always made me realize that no matter how much I was scaird to do something new, that nothing could really stand in my way. Nothing stood in Jay's way... and that's what made him special! I'm glad to know he's not suffering any more. And you KNOW he's got a cold one in his hand and will looking in on us from time to time. I'll always smile when I think of you! CHEERS!

1995 How many coats of paint can you put on a ping pong table? We'd have a mug of beer, put on some tunes in my old stereo, and then Jay would commence to some serious ping pong butt kicking.

I remember waking up one morning and walking in my living room to find a white man asleep on my couch.  I asked my husband "Who is that on my coach?" Well that was the beginning of a long friendship.  My husband and I separated but Jay was our friend through it all.  I had called Jay a few times not knowing and frustrated that his phone was disconnected.  So I call his mom today and she gave me the news that my friend had past.  I sat in the car crying as I told my 9yr old son.  He began telling me things he remembered about Jay, the house with the red walls, and showing him how to play the guitar. Jay and I could talk the night away with our debating conversations on life. He always wanted me to visit sunny Cali while he was in good health or better yet for me and the kids to move west.  Im comfort in knowing his passing was not horrific as he often spoke that it would be so.  I will miss my friend but will never forget him.